Obama said it’s cool.
Unfortunately the federal government doesn’t have the right to regulate marriage by nature of the tenth amendment so who cares what he said right?
Wrong.
I care.
As long as same sex couples can get married my master plan is still in effect.
You see once we get gay marriage as a Constitutional Amendment I can move on to the next phase.
Part C of the master plan: Start a nationwide movement to legalize polygamy. That’s right I need a few more wives.
My wife is fully aware of my priorities.
She knows that my master plan includes marrying Katie Perry and Jennifer Lopez. I had to change Part C to Katie Perry after Wynona Ryder was convicted of shop lifting. I couldn’t be associated with riff-raff.
As you may or may not know Part B of my master plan took place earlier this year when I successfully broke apart the marriages of my two future brides.
But if Parts A (Gay Marriage) B (Break up Perry and Lopez) and C (polygamy) all come to fruition I now realize I need a Part D. Part D is protection but I am not rich enough to protect my two future brides from their adoring fans with bodyguards so I will have to think outside the box.
Part D of my master plan will be to get video game characters legal status in this country so I can marry Lara Croft from Tomb Raider.
Who is going to mess with my “New American Family” when I have the likes of Lara Croft and her unlimited ammunition by my side?
Ah all you “sheeple” are playing right into my hands.
