.

Alright Same Sex Marriage for Everyone!

The Evil Master Plan is in full effect.

Obama said it’s cool.

Unfortunately the federal government doesn’t have the right to regulate marriage by nature of the tenth amendment so who cares what he said right?

Wrong.

I care.

As long as same sex couples can get married my master plan is still in effect.

You see once we get gay marriage as a Constitutional Amendment I can move on to the next phase.

Part C of the master plan:  Start a nationwide movement to legalize polygamy.  That’s right I need a few more wives.

My wife is fully aware of my priorities. 

She knows that my master plan includes marrying Katie Perry and Jennifer Lopez.  I had to change Part C to Katie Perry after Wynona Ryder was convicted of shop lifting.  I couldn’t be associated with riff-raff.

As you may or may not know Part B of my master plan took place earlier this year when I successfully broke apart the marriages of my two future brides.

But if Parts A (Gay Marriage) B (Break up Perry and Lopez) and C (polygamy) all come to fruition I now realize I need a Part D.   Part D is protection but I am not rich enough to protect my two future brides from their adoring fans with bodyguards so I will have to think outside the box.

Part D of my master plan will be to get video game characters legal status in this country so I can marry Lara Croft from Tomb Raider.

Who is going to mess with my “New American Family” when I have the likes of Lara Croft and her unlimited ammunition by my side?

Ah all you “sheeple” are playing right into my hands.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Patrick Giusto May 10, 2012 at 07:01 PM
This literally made me laugh out loud. Fantastic.
Beverly Torrence May 10, 2012 at 10:02 PM
I know you have a thing for Martha Stewart, Can she be the fifth wife? We will need someone to cook and clean,
Marisa Schelgunov May 11, 2012 at 11:45 PM
I'll take any extra wife to help out with all these children, cooking, cleaning, laundry. The chores are endless!

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