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Back to Europe?

A musing on what happens when you take your ball and go home.

In the late 19th Century, and continuing through the early 20th Century, there was a movement by African-Americans known as the “Back to Africa” Movement. 

Should you decide to research it, you'll ultimately come across this campaign as the early roots of the Civil Rights Movement. 

Before the 24th, 15th, 14th and 13th Amendments; before the Civil Rights Acts of 1968 and 1964; before the work of Dr. King, Rosa Parks, and Malcolm X; before even the Civil War—there was the "Back to Africa" Movement.

Today, the concept is probably more controversial than it was when it was conceived.

The idea, made famous by African Americans like Marcus Garvey in the late 19-teens, was essentially this:  Black people had been completely mistreated and disrespected in America, and they should willingly go back to their native continent.  They believed it would be a more comfortable and safe situation for their people. 

And so the modern Civil Rights Movement and positive racial change began, sort of, out of the simple idea to just give up; that it would be better if African-Americans agreed to disagree, and to let the United States rise and fall with their own small-mindedness. 

I would think (and hope) most people are thankful that the "Back to Africa" Movement never ultimately took hold, and led to a more fruitful series of events.  But there is, within me, a sort of nugget of admiration for the idea—because it was a catalyst for change, and because I do sort of admire the concept of saying, as Eric Cartman sometimes does, “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”  There is a hidden value in that idea as an impetus for change.

And I think Liberals should do exactly that. 

We should all begin to pack up and go back to wherever our ancestors are from, whether it be Europe, Africa, Mexico, Canada, or elsewhere. 

For some of us, our international roots are directly tied to one nation; but for more of us, there’s a sort of complex geneology of (mostly-)European ancestry to choose from. 

But, wherever you’re from, I think it would be a really interesting experiment to just pick up and go elsewhere, slowly but en masse.

We’ve reached a sort of boiling point in this country where nothing is getting done.  Congress is comatose, the media cycle is so rapid and vapid that the truth is swallowed by drama, and our population has become so partisan that we can’t even agree on what’s a fact anymore.  And before we end up standing next to a burned-out Wal-Mart with pitchforks wondering how we let something really, really bad happen, we should just give up and let someone win.

We don’t need red states and blue states anymore.  Let’s just make them all red.

It is the logical awakening from the American Dream.

So, Liberal Americans, in a sign of solidarity with our conservative brethren: let’s pack up the kids, and put , and drive or fly to wherever it is your ancestors are from. 

Chances are, you’re going to like where you land anyway. 

A lot of our home nations have already embraced the concepts of environmental protection, clean energy, good public schools, and a health care system that takes care of everyone—even if we have not. 

Many of them have multi-party systems, and their cultural attitudes are far less entitled than the ones found in our nation. And our arrivals and new spending and taxation will probably help any of their struggling economies.

Let’s eliminate obstructionism and leave the economy to the concepts of small government, trickle-down economics, and no new taxation, and see what happens. 

Let’s allow everyone to subscribe to the pretentious misnomers of “right to life” (except criminals), and “right to work” (even children).  Let’s turn the country over to the people who don’t want to spend any money on infrastructure because it files under the boogeyman of “Socialism.” 

Let’s give them the ability to eliminate HUD and the EPA, negotiate the value of birth control, have all the guns they want, cater mainly to corporate interests, and perpetuate the idea that college is for snobs and elitists. Let’s see what happens in thirty years when they have a nation of their own; a nation full of people voting against their own self-interests; a nation of people who think the best way to fix and economy is to simply turn it over to God.

Because our lasting gift to this country can be that we agree to be the “liberal nuisance” no more. We can all agree, ultimately, that we have disagreed, and that the argument will get worse before it gets better. We can remember that this country was first settled upon by bizarelly radical, illogical, religious crazy people, and so it might as well be finished off by bizarrely radical, illogical, religious crazy people. 

We can finally agree that this, above all things, is a good idea (right?).  Conservatives and Republicans often resort to the cliché of “If you don’t like it, you can get out!”  They’re going to read this and say, “Sounds good to me!” or "Good riddance!"—and that is exactly the smug, , obstructionist attitude we’ll be catering to and leaving. 

And, besides, self-deportation is a Republican idea anyway. 

Let’s let them win this one, start the clock, and place bets as to how long it is before we can come back to our Lost Nation— a population coughing and poisoned, bullet-riddled and with an economy in ruins— yet with a fresh start, and the ability to say the most wonderful words anyone who argues politics can muster from their exhausted, smiling lips:

I told you so.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

The original Bill May 14, 2012 at 12:38 PM
This is great. Exactly what a Conservative would want.
Tim Torrence May 15, 2012 at 05:49 PM
Although I do not consider myself a liberal I have to believe there surely are liberals who would find themselves in my situation. Since I was adopted as a child and cannot confirm my heritage where would I go? Do I go to Russia? How about Southern Spain? Maybe Ireland? Or will there be refugee camps for people of undetermined heritage? To top it off my wife and children have Native American heritage. Would you split families up for ideological reasons?
James Thomas May 21, 2012 at 02:52 PM
Patrick, Don't follow! Lead the charge, go.
James Thomas May 21, 2012 at 02:56 PM
Patrick, and please take Alec Baldwin and Sean Penn with you!

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