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Health & Fitness

Burgers, Burgers, Burgers: An Open Letter to McDonald's

New resident writes a strongly worded letter to McDonald's.

Dear McDonald's:

There’s been a about McDonald's knocking down the Detroit Theatre. Honestly McDonald's, this is a terrible idea.

The only idea worse than this would be tweeting inappropriate pics of yourself while serving in Congress or claiming the EPA is the cause of all of America’s problems.

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First of all, Lakewood is not a “McDonald's” kind of town, so the fact that you already even have one in Lakewood is a shock. Obviously, we don’t need another one.

We’re good. Seriously.

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Secondly, Lakewood loves history. So, if you knock down something historical, we won’t like it and in turn, we won’t like you. Please let us allow someone to do with a building from 1923, like turn it back into a theater, or a museum, or a good bar.

Finally, we have enough burger joints in Lakewood.

And besides that, people in Lakewood generally enjoy two things: good food and good alcohol — both which you do not provide. Here are some places Lakewood residents, such as myself, will be going instead of your establishment when we’re craving a hamburger:

This is home of The Italian Lover Burger, one of, if not the best, burger I’ve ever had. Not only are the ingredients fresh, but the beer selection is amazing, and includes a complete line of Great Lakes, Thirsty Dog, Rogue Guy, and Brooklyn Ales. Plus you get to say fun things like “Can I have a Handsome Fun Guy on a baguette?” which is way more fun than ordering a Big Mac. They also have pajama brunch. Do you have pajama brunch McDonalds? No…I think not.

Not only do they have an amazing beer list (the bottle list is probably 7 pages long), but they are known for their amazing burgers. And they love a specialty burger. This month’s Wildly Improbable Burger of the Month is a burger topped with potato salad, bbq chicken, cheddar cheese, and pickle chips. See, Lakewood is full of creative types. We even like our food to be creative!

More known for their grilled cheese, but their burgers leave me in an equal state of euphoria. Plus they have thirty beers on tap and really knowledgeable bartenders. The food may not take less than 3 minutes to make, but it is worth the wait. And the thick cut fries melt in your mouth.

Other places to find a good burger: (which also has amazing corned beef), , and (or so I’ve heard…in full disclosure I haven’t been there yet, but I’ll be going there way before I’d go to a McDonalds, probably this week, as all this talk about really good burgers, made from really good ingredients has me craving one).

So as you can see, McDonald's, we have plenty burger options.

We do not need another McDonald's in Lakewood, especially at the cost of preventing the preservation of a historical site. I hope you understand that your corporation will be best served elsewhere.

Sincerely,

Cari Gornik

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